Never Once

    I've always been the one to appreciate change, variety. I'm currently living in my 6th host home in the past 5 years. That's not including college or summer living or studying abroad. And I've always kind of liked that. I'm a networker, so I actually enjoy getting to know a variety of people in different parts of the country/world in this way.
   But recently I looked around and realized that while everyone else in my life is changing, growing, and moving on, I'm still stuck in the same place. God, what are you up to right now? I feel like you've revealed your calling to me - to reach the nations with the invitation to join your family. So why am I still here? It's a huge insecurity for me to not be be the adventurous one - not to be the one with the crazy stories. But God has been showing me that His plan is not always the most obvious or simple path, it is the one that best reveals His glory and grace to the world and to my heart. So who knows what He's up to? I'm sure I'll look back on this time and smile. 

Favorite blessing right now - so thankful for best friends

    In May I watched my parents pick up their life for the past 22 years and move to Asia. My brother is moving on and starting his own life. And all my best friends live in other cities. I spend so much time with teenagers that I struggle to find relationships with adults my age here in Round Rock. Ultimately, I've realized, I miss being KNOWN. Few people know my life: my past, my pet peeves, my anxieties, and deepest desires. I would so love to skip over this phase of my life and move on to the more exciting, adventurous journeys up ahead and sharing them with others. 

But God's reminded me of Psalms 139 - HE knows me. He's known me since the beginning. He created me and therefore knows each intimate detail of my soul. God, help me to cry out to you and enjoy walking through and sharing each day with you. He's also reminded me of how important it is to be thankful for where I am at - now. I need to be thankful for this blessed time of God preparing me for what He's calling me to. Think about people in the Bible: Joseph, David, and even Jesus needed time to prepared for God's leading in their lives. "Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin." -Zechariah 4:10.

I'm thankful for: 

1. My car breaking down a few weeks ago so God could show me that He is sovereign over finances and I am not in control. This also showed me that He has blessed me with family (while my immediate family is gone) who encouraged and helped me immensely in this situation.
2. People who have allowed me to process through things. As a verbal processor, I am reminded how blessed I am with all those who have listened to me talk about future plans, relationships, and my walk with Jesus. 
3. Prayer - I'm grateful that God knows me and that He loves it when I talk to Him and is patient when I forget to listen. 
4. The promise that I have never and will never walk alone. He is so faithful. 
5. This time of independence and singleness where I can truly give God everything - undivided - and develop habits that I can hopefully carry on into my future. 

 So thankful for the other awesome interns this summer. 

I'm praying for:

1. A place to live - still waiting on Apartment Life to place my future roommate, Megan, and I. Until the deadline we decided on, please pray that we will both have a place to stay. 
2. A job - finances are extremely tight for both of us, especially not knowing what jobs to apply for, since we don't know where we'll be living. 
3. Community - people at my stage of life who can know me and will challenge and encourage me in my walk. 
4. A deeper reliance on Christ and increased FAITH! (Hebrews 11:8-10)
5. Contentment with where God has me now - not focusing on future mission opportunities or the man God is preparing to be my teammate in that calling.
6. That God will surprise me and do something big to remind me that He's got this!

Rock the Rock week - these guys bring so much joy to my life!

     Another huge thing God is trying to re-teach me (or at least re-tell, I'm not sure I ever learned it), is the necessity of spending time with my savior above all else. Nothing I could preach, do, or create could be more important than just daily spending time talking, listening, and absorbing Him. I tend to try to get my life together - chores, menial tasks, and work stuff - before I'm willing to sit down and talk to Him. I tell myself I'm removing distractions, but really, I'm procrastinating. I'm a total Martha 99% of the time.

"My dear Martha! You are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing to be concerned about. Mary has discovered it and it will not be taken away from her." 

- Luke 10: 41-42

    This song, "Never Once," by Matt Redman has been super encouraging to me in the past couple months. God, you are so faithful, even when I am not.

    

It's all going to be ok. I know because Jesus is better.