Ever since I can remember I've compared myself to other people and their stories. I felt like I needed to be the best - most confident, most hardcore, most interesting, most hilarious, or most talented. I wanted to be the one with the best stories. I could care less about being the richest, smartest or most caring. I just wanted people to see me the way I hoped they would - I wanted to be the most interesting person in the room. And at times this is my identity. My attitude rises and falls with the way others perceive me. Because when I'm not the best at something, I'll desperately try to make up for it by showing off another area of my "impressive" life. And if there's no use, and I just can't win - I'll try to convince myself (and others) that being the best in that area is dumb anyway...like who would even want to be the smartest anyway? nerd alert. I'm glad I don't know all the elements on the periodic table, only an loser would care about that! ;)
And I wonder if Joseph was a lot like this. Sometime we read his story in Genesis and write off his beginning as innocent immaturity. But I think he knew what he was doing, parading around his brothers with his fancy coat and fancy dreams - trying to ignore his fear of the prophesied dreams and hope lost. Maybe he was scared of not having the "special" life he was told he would have. This week as I re-read his story (Genesis 37-50) I decided to jot down a few notes and observations I found:
1. Joseph was given dreams and prophesy long before God actually fulfilled it - WHY? The word waiting is in the Bible 159 times. I know. I checked. Online. Answers.com. They're never wrong. ;) But the point still stands. If 2 Peter 1:5-7 is correct (which I believe it is!) "patient endurance" comes before godliness. I can tell God that I trust Him no matter what, but patient confidence in my Savior during the desert seasons is what proves my trust. Trust in action. This is where God begins to mature His child, Joseph.
2. In the seasons of betrayal and suffering Joseph still learns to be content. He begins to gain a reputation as one whom God is close to, and people just want to be around him. Joseph is willing and ready to be used by God to bless those around him. He actually sees his enslavement as an opportunity to share the message of His God with a new culture and nation, one that doesn't know God. And God protects and blesses the socks off an entire people group and generation because of Joseph's obedience. Just imagine what would have happened had he chosen bitterness.
3. Joseph didn't give into his own desires or pity himself, even thought it could have totally been justified. He lived with integrity, continuing to seek eternal reward instead of just focusing on his present circumstances and what he wanted to do in the moment. He chose to live for something greater.
4. He allows God to stretch and mature him, preparing his attitude to be ready when the perfect timing comes. Joseph also stays in close communication with God, a huge testimony to those around him. In situations of uncertainty or suffering we either tend to run to God or run away and ignore Him until the pain is lessened or gone, if we do even choose to return. Joseph shows us what it looks like to run to God and share our silence with Him. Joseph is teachable and learns from his arrogance to become humble - another way to point others to God.
5. He is faithful with little and God blesses him with much. Joseph is so thankful to God, even though he misses out on things that we often see as "rights," like seeing his mother before she died, watching his younger brother grow up, and being a part of his family and culture. If I was Joseph, my story would have consisted of mostly "it's not fair" moments and comparing my situation to the brothers who sold me into slavery - those who got to enjoy their father's company in a comfortable land with an easy life. Joseph's attitude is remarkable and so inspiring to me.
So the question is not "what will God have me do" but rather "what is my reaction now?" Will I choose to be content in luxury surrounded by my loved ones? And will I choose to be content in slavery and prison? And will I choose to be content when things aren't fair, trusting that God is mega at work behind the scenes? This song below is called "Unpack Your Heart" by Phillip Phillips, and it's been so encouraging to be reminded that God wants to share it all with me - the sorrow, the victories, the struggles, the treasures, and the the dreams I'm scared to defend.
-Philippians 4:11-13
It's a secret to be learned with the supernatural help of my Author. Even if my dreams never come to fruition, my job is to be faithful with what the Lord has placed in front of me. Then He will able to take my submission and unfold it into something beautiful.