Lessons from Joseph

     I've been thinking a lot about Joseph from the Bible lately. Yeah, the "coat-of-many-colors" guy. And I feel like I can relate a lot to his story. God's given me dreams. Big dreams. And it's easy for me to look around at others and get prideful about the passions God has entrusted to me. Honestly it's a struggle. I'm not a people pleaser; I'm probably not going to do what most people want me to do. But I want you to at least respect me for being independent. If God's not going to write me a stable, white-picket-fence-American-Dream story, then I'm going to do something to make you remember me. To be known.

     Ever since I can remember I've compared myself to other people and their stories. I felt like I needed to be the best - most confident, most hardcore, most interesting, most hilarious, or most talented. I wanted to be the one with the best stories. I could care less about being the richest, smartest or most caring. I just wanted people to see me the way I hoped they would - I wanted to be the most interesting person in the room. And at times this is my identity. My attitude rises and falls with the way others perceive me. Because when I'm not the best at something, I'll desperately try to make up for it by showing off another area of my "impressive" life. And if there's no use, and I just can't win - I'll try to convince myself (and others) that being the best in that area is dumb anyway...like who would even want to be the smartest anyway? nerd alert. I'm glad I don't know all the elements on the periodic table, only an loser would care about that! ;)

     And I wonder if Joseph was a lot like this. Sometime we read his story in Genesis and write off his beginning as innocent immaturity. But I think he knew what he was doing, parading around his brothers with his fancy coat and fancy dreams - trying to ignore his fear of the prophesied dreams and hope lost. Maybe he was scared of not having the "special" life he was told he would have. This week as I re-read his story (Genesis 37-50) I decided to jot down a few notes and observations I found:

1. Joseph was given dreams and prophesy long before God actually fulfilled it - WHY? The word waiting is in the Bible 159 times. I know. I checked. Online. Answers.com. They're never wrong. ;) But the point still stands. If 2 Peter 1:5-7 is correct (which I believe it is!) "patient endurance" comes before godliness. I can tell God that I trust Him no matter what, but patient confidence in my Savior during the desert seasons is what proves my trust. Trust in action. This is where God begins to mature His child, Joseph. 

2. In the seasons of betrayal and suffering Joseph still learns to be content. He begins to gain a reputation as one whom God is close to, and people just want to be around him. Joseph is willing and ready to be used by God to bless those around him. He actually sees his enslavement as an opportunity to share the message of His God with a new culture and nation, one that doesn't know God. And God protects and blesses the socks off an entire people group and generation because of Joseph's obedience. Just imagine what would have happened had he chosen bitterness.

3. Joseph didn't give into his own desires or pity himself, even thought it could have totally been justified. He lived with integrity, continuing to seek eternal reward instead of just focusing on his present circumstances and what he wanted to do in the moment. He chose to live for something greater. 

4. He allows God to stretch and mature him, preparing his attitude to be ready when the perfect timing comes. Joseph also stays in close communication with God, a huge testimony to those around him. In situations of uncertainty or suffering we either tend to run to God or run away and ignore Him until the pain is lessened or gone, if we do even choose to return. Joseph shows us what it looks like to run to God and share our silence with Him. Joseph is teachable and learns from his arrogance to become humble - another way to point others to God. 

5. He is faithful with little and God blesses him with much. Joseph is so thankful to God, even though he misses out on things that we often see as "rights," like seeing his mother before she died, watching his younger brother grow up, and being a part of his family and culture. If I was Joseph, my story would have consisted of mostly "it's not fair" moments and comparing my situation to the brothers who sold me into slavery - those who got to enjoy their father's company in a comfortable land with an easy life. Joseph's attitude is remarkable and so inspiring to me. 

     So the question is not "what will God have me do" but rather "what is my reaction now?" Will I choose to be content in luxury surrounded by my loved ones? And will I choose to be content in slavery and prison? And will I choose to be content when things aren't fair, trusting that God is mega at work behind the scenes? This song below is called "Unpack Your Heart" by Phillip Phillips, and it's been so encouraging to be reminded that God wants to share it all with me - the sorrow, the victories, the struggles, the treasures, and the the dreams I'm scared to defend. 

"Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."
-Philippians 4:11-13

It's a secret to be learned with the supernatural help of my Author. Even if my dreams never come to fruition, my job is to be faithful with what the Lord has placed in front of me. Then He will able to take my submission and unfold it into something beautiful. 

Never Once

    I've always been the one to appreciate change, variety. I'm currently living in my 6th host home in the past 5 years. That's not including college or summer living or studying abroad. And I've always kind of liked that. I'm a networker, so I actually enjoy getting to know a variety of people in different parts of the country/world in this way.
   But recently I looked around and realized that while everyone else in my life is changing, growing, and moving on, I'm still stuck in the same place. God, what are you up to right now? I feel like you've revealed your calling to me - to reach the nations with the invitation to join your family. So why am I still here? It's a huge insecurity for me to not be be the adventurous one - not to be the one with the crazy stories. But God has been showing me that His plan is not always the most obvious or simple path, it is the one that best reveals His glory and grace to the world and to my heart. So who knows what He's up to? I'm sure I'll look back on this time and smile. 

Favorite blessing right now - so thankful for best friends

    In May I watched my parents pick up their life for the past 22 years and move to Asia. My brother is moving on and starting his own life. And all my best friends live in other cities. I spend so much time with teenagers that I struggle to find relationships with adults my age here in Round Rock. Ultimately, I've realized, I miss being KNOWN. Few people know my life: my past, my pet peeves, my anxieties, and deepest desires. I would so love to skip over this phase of my life and move on to the more exciting, adventurous journeys up ahead and sharing them with others. 

But God's reminded me of Psalms 139 - HE knows me. He's known me since the beginning. He created me and therefore knows each intimate detail of my soul. God, help me to cry out to you and enjoy walking through and sharing each day with you. He's also reminded me of how important it is to be thankful for where I am at - now. I need to be thankful for this blessed time of God preparing me for what He's calling me to. Think about people in the Bible: Joseph, David, and even Jesus needed time to prepared for God's leading in their lives. "Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin." -Zechariah 4:10.

I'm thankful for: 

1. My car breaking down a few weeks ago so God could show me that He is sovereign over finances and I am not in control. This also showed me that He has blessed me with family (while my immediate family is gone) who encouraged and helped me immensely in this situation.
2. People who have allowed me to process through things. As a verbal processor, I am reminded how blessed I am with all those who have listened to me talk about future plans, relationships, and my walk with Jesus. 
3. Prayer - I'm grateful that God knows me and that He loves it when I talk to Him and is patient when I forget to listen. 
4. The promise that I have never and will never walk alone. He is so faithful. 
5. This time of independence and singleness where I can truly give God everything - undivided - and develop habits that I can hopefully carry on into my future. 

 So thankful for the other awesome interns this summer. 

I'm praying for:

1. A place to live - still waiting on Apartment Life to place my future roommate, Megan, and I. Until the deadline we decided on, please pray that we will both have a place to stay. 
2. A job - finances are extremely tight for both of us, especially not knowing what jobs to apply for, since we don't know where we'll be living. 
3. Community - people at my stage of life who can know me and will challenge and encourage me in my walk. 
4. A deeper reliance on Christ and increased FAITH! (Hebrews 11:8-10)
5. Contentment with where God has me now - not focusing on future mission opportunities or the man God is preparing to be my teammate in that calling.
6. That God will surprise me and do something big to remind me that He's got this!

Rock the Rock week - these guys bring so much joy to my life!

     Another huge thing God is trying to re-teach me (or at least re-tell, I'm not sure I ever learned it), is the necessity of spending time with my savior above all else. Nothing I could preach, do, or create could be more important than just daily spending time talking, listening, and absorbing Him. I tend to try to get my life together - chores, menial tasks, and work stuff - before I'm willing to sit down and talk to Him. I tell myself I'm removing distractions, but really, I'm procrastinating. I'm a total Martha 99% of the time.

"My dear Martha! You are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing to be concerned about. Mary has discovered it and it will not be taken away from her." 

- Luke 10: 41-42

    This song, "Never Once," by Matt Redman has been super encouraging to me in the past couple months. God, you are so faithful, even when I am not.

    

It's all going to be ok. I know because Jesus is better. 

Empanadas, Bruno Mars, & Sunburns

     It's been a while since I've had an out-of-the-country adventure. And by "a while" I mean, almost 6 whole months. God is calling me to a season of rest and steady learning - refinement. So although it's kind of killing me, I'm called to Texas for the moment. But that hasn't stopped me from a whole new set of adventures!

     I work with college students at Austin Community College through Hill Country Bible Round Rock. It's a difficult ministry; ironically there's a lack of community at the community college. It is nothing like a 4 year school so it's a whole new ball game for me, but I'm enjoying our weekly outreach of serving coffee and snacks to students on campus. I'm also nannying for 2 little girls - Ella & Emma. They're 4 and 5 years old and are so energetic! Everything is new and exciting to them so I'm enjoying our time baking, watching Veggie Tales, and reading at the library. 

Homemade Empanadas at Midnight upon our arrival in Mexico

     And the highlight of this year so far was my trip to Jose Maria Morelos, Mexico with my church. As you probably know, I love corn tortillas, Spanish, and all things Mexican. However, this was a completely different trip from all the other ones I've taken. In the past year, God's really revealed to me my heart for Spanish-speaking cultures of the world. In hindsight, I see that this passion has really been there all along, through my family's heritage of being pastors & missionaries several Hispanic countries, as well as my love for speaking Spanish since I won my "Spanish Bee" in 1st grade. So I went into this trip with a new perspective: "what would it be like if I lived in an environment like this one day?"

My teammate & I with some kids from Esperanza

     On Saturday we traveled from 3:30am to 11:30pm the first day, flying into Cancun and then taking what turned out be a 6 hour drive to JMM! We were given delicious empanadas when we arrived then went to bed to rest before a busy Sunday at church. Sunday I got to work with some middle & high school aged students (my favorite!) at the church. We talked about Elijah & Elisha and they wanted me to read 2 Kings in Spanish (probably just so they could laugh at how slow I read and how I didn't know how to say "Eliseo" and "Elias"). Sunday evening we went to a nearby village called Esperanza (Spanish word for "Hope") to watch the kids perform songs they had practiced for our visit. They sang songs like "Father Abraham," "If You're Happy and You Know It," and "I'm in the Lord's Army." We also got to talk to 2 teenage girls (the Mexican girls in the photo above) about their life, school, and words in English vs. Spanish. This conversation helped me build confidence about speaking in Spanish - which I did a lot for the rest of the trip! 

Painting the Church #HillCogoesttoMexico

     On Monday & Tuesday we were happy but exhausted. We helped paint (and later repaint) a local church in JMM and then went to nearby villages that are heavily Catholic or traditional Mayan. We partnered with the small churches in these villages to go hut-to-hut sharing the story of Jesus, our testimonies, and praying for anyone who needed it. At the end of each walk around the village, the church hosted a service for all the people we talked to during the walk. We had a great turn-out of people, especially kids, and we handed out a lot of Bibles. A few of us Americans got to share our testimony while someone translated it into Spanish and sometimes Mayan! My favorite part was playing with the kids, and letting them teach us how to play their local games and football (soccer). With each group got to I walk them through the Gospel (in Spanish!) and tell them the story of Jesus. Then late on Tuesday night our group went to the city centre of JMM to just hang out and talk to the locals. Immediately I had a group of 15 elementary aged kids

Sharing Gospel in Spanish w/ Gospel Beads

around me, wanting to teach me a game. We played several games for a while and then we sat down to talk and I shared the Gospel. These kids were way more involved in the story than even the churched kids in the nearby villages. It was amazing to watch them process through the story, even though they had probably heard it before. A guy from our group had brought over necklaces, bracelets & pins that helped tell the story. So after we gave them out, I got to walk all of those kids through the story as well! It was an amazing experience and I went to sleep that night with a full and joyful heart. 

     

Shared the Gospel with these kids from Tobasco

     Wednesday we went to the local university to sit in on a Mayan class! What a confusing language, but I did learn a lot and we got to talk to the students at the end of class and explain what we were doing there. Afterwards a couple of students gave us a tour of the campus and while walking around, a professor asked us to join his Environmental Politics class. We played a game with the students and answered questions about how Texas, specifically Austin, handles environmental issues. We got to share with them about the responsibility we believe God has given us to look after our earth and the environment. A news crew even came out to interview Jacob, our leader, and some translators to explain "what the gringos were doing here!" :) It was such a neat opportunity and God surprised us big time! 

The Church Building in San Diego

     We drove back to Cancun and spent our last day on a boat snorkeling and at the beach, reflecting on all the God had taught us that week. It was so beautiful; I've never seen water that clear and fish that up-close before! I'm so thankful for this amazing opportunity to go somewhere I love and share what God has called us all to share! Thank you God for my incredible team, and for the endless adventures you call to experience with you!

     Here's a couple main things God taught me: 

Walking hut-to-hut with women from the church

1. Pray ALL THE TIME. "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give a reason for the hope that you profess" (1 Peter 3:15). To do this, we need to be in constant prayer, asking for eyes like Jesus and guidance from the Holy Spirit to recognize opportunities. The leader of our group from the Mexican side, Atlay, was a huge encouragement in this area of prayer. He prayed for any and everything and really challenged our group to do the same. Pray for the big things that are really game-changers in your life, but don't neglect praying for the small things that may not seem that important. God cares about every detail of our lives (Psalms 37:23) so talk to God about the little things - like paint drying the same color ;) And have the boldness and confidence to pray for something again and again. Pray for and with the people I do life with, no matter what their faith background might be.

Kids I played games with in the City Centre

2. Be flexible and walk with the Spirit. It's a wild goose chase, following the Holy Spirit. Be prepared to change your plans when you let Him lead! In the story of Mary & Martha, be like Mary, content to sit at the feet of Jesus and just be. Don't miss out on anything! (Luke 10)

3. Faith like a mustard seed - we heard this story in song-form several times on the trip. Apparently it's a popular Spanish tune. When we pray, believe that God will accomplish all that He has promised. 

4. Be content. This last year has been full of ups and downs. I'm really beginning to understand the passions and calling that God has given me and I'm ready to dive in and use them. But God hasn't given me the green light to go - yet. He has called me to stay in Texas a little while longer - to grow, to learn, to prepare, and mature. Even though I want to be in that next stage of life, living in a Spanish speaking country as a full-time missionary, I remember people like David, or even Jesus! From the beginning Jesus knew His calling but for 30 years God was up to something before he gave Jesus the ok to start His ministry. This is so 

This was just beautiful & perfect. Spent our last day in Cancun before flying back to Texas

weird to me, I mean, why God? Why wait? But something very important happened during that time of waiting. Same with David. God had to grow David and teach him things as a shepherd before He could officially become King. God, help me be patient and content during this season. Thank you for allowing me time to prepare for what you've called me to do. I'm sure I'll be so extremely grateful for this time one day! In the meantime, help me be fully here, where you've called me to be. Help me not miss out on opportunities here, just because I'm too focused on the future. I trust that your plan is perfect!

Our team on the Catamaran in Cancun - absolutely love this team!